The Cuss Cup 2008

Today I took a minute to peruse my previous posts and I realized something very disturbing... I swear too much!  Crazy thing is that I think I swear more on paper than I do in verbal conversation. Weird, eh?  Now, I know that more than a few times I've sworn off swearing and had some success, but I dont  quite know when and WHY i started this bad habit back! Anyhoo, its not ladylike, nor is it cute SOOO, I'm gonna try this again.  That being said, there are some instances where I FEEL (not you, but me... I feel) that I should get a cuss pass.  These instances include situations where...

a)  My banking institution has made some major accounting error and caused me inconvenience. I should be allowed 2 cuss words to express my extreme pissivity both TO the banking representative AND to whomever I first repeat the ordeal to.  If it happens that I blog about it before I speak to someone, then I agree to only use those words one time in said blog post and not to repeat them to someone at a later date.

b)  Someone is attempting to feed me some bull-ish and my intelligence is insulted.  I feel that one STRONG "GTFOH" is definitely permissible to express that not only am I not buying said bull-ish story, but to also give the directive of exiting my presence.  Only GTFOH can relay such sentiment succinctly.  I agree to only use GTFOH once in this instance and also agree to use it in its acronym form versus spelling "Get The F**K Outta Here!" out.  When possible, I will use it in text messages to end the conversation.  

c)  I am giving advice to someone regarding otherwise "common sense" situations where said person is being hardheaded, naive and gullible despite all the obvious signs of disenchantment (I love that word, don't you!?).  Sometimes its just not enough be calm and polite in your approach of spreading the good word to people who just refuse to listen.  SOMETIMES you have to get ugly and say something like "Looka heah, heifa... TNDWY... He dont give a damn about you as plainly seen thru his trifling ass excuses and broken promises.  Chuck his ass the deuces and quit being a stupid hoe!"  I admit, I've said these very things to someone.  Was it right? Probably not, but I was hoping to saying enough offensive things that she would walk away pissed that I would even think to identify her as a "stupid hoe" and then begin to consider if she was indeed behaving like a "stupid hoe"... something we both knew she wasnt, but her actions were indeed showing signs of weakness and lack of self-esteem.  In the future however, I will refrain from excessively swearing in instances like these, and I will only use a SINGLE cuss-word in any given conversation on the matter.  Stupid hoes arent worth me wasting all my free cuss-passes anyway.

So there it is! I'm intending to all but do away with my foul language.  Why, you ask? Well, like I said... its not ladylike and my vocabulary is far to expansive to be  limited to expletives.  In fact, its more fun when you can out-word a muhfuh... Oh such FUN to talk over someone's head with words they dont know and cant repeat. lololol  

**Begin Sidenote:  I remember actually having all-out "score sessions" with my boy Kevin Curry in high school using nothing but S.A.T. words.  We would actually be playing tennis and ragging on each other using vocab we were studying for our exam... TOTAL GEEKS! Coincidentally, Kevin is in grad school at Harvard RIGHT NOW and I am well... you know where I am. lol **End Sidenote***

Any-t-hoo, I'm gonna stop cursing and for every violation I'm gonna drop a dollar in the CUSS CUP and make an extra offering in church with the money.  I figure that committing that money to the Lord will force me to take this initiative seriously. Wish me luck!

SG