Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Cuss Cup 2008

Today I took a minute to peruse my previous posts and I realized something very disturbing... I swear too much!  Crazy thing is that I think I swear more on paper than I do in verbal conversation. Weird, eh?  Now, I know that more than a few times I've sworn off swearing and had some success, but I dont  quite know when and WHY i started this bad habit back! Anyhoo, its not ladylike, nor is it cute SOOO, I'm gonna try this again.  That being said, there are some instances where I FEEL (not you, but me... I feel) that I should get a cuss pass.  These instances include situations where...

a)  My banking institution has made some major accounting error and caused me inconvenience. I should be allowed 2 cuss words to express my extreme pissivity both TO the banking representative AND to whomever I first repeat the ordeal to.  If it happens that I blog about it before I speak to someone, then I agree to only use those words one time in said blog post and not to repeat them to someone at a later date.

b)  Someone is attempting to feed me some bull-ish and my intelligence is insulted.  I feel that one STRONG "GTFOH" is definitely permissible to express that not only am I not buying said bull-ish story, but to also give the directive of exiting my presence.  Only GTFOH can relay such sentiment succinctly.  I agree to only use GTFOH once in this instance and also agree to use it in its acronym form versus spelling "Get The F**K Outta Here!" out.  When possible, I will use it in text messages to end the conversation.  

c)  I am giving advice to someone regarding otherwise "common sense" situations where said person is being hardheaded, naive and gullible despite all the obvious signs of disenchantment (I love that word, don't you!?).  Sometimes its just not enough be calm and polite in your approach of spreading the good word to people who just refuse to listen.  SOMETIMES you have to get ugly and say something like "Looka heah, heifa... TNDWY... He dont give a damn about you as plainly seen thru his trifling ass excuses and broken promises.  Chuck his ass the deuces and quit being a stupid hoe!"  I admit, I've said these very things to someone.  Was it right? Probably not, but I was hoping to saying enough offensive things that she would walk away pissed that I would even think to identify her as a "stupid hoe" and then begin to consider if she was indeed behaving like a "stupid hoe"... something we both knew she wasnt, but her actions were indeed showing signs of weakness and lack of self-esteem.  In the future however, I will refrain from excessively swearing in instances like these, and I will only use a SINGLE cuss-word in any given conversation on the matter.  Stupid hoes arent worth me wasting all my free cuss-passes anyway.

So there it is! I'm intending to all but do away with my foul language.  Why, you ask? Well, like I said... its not ladylike and my vocabulary is far to expansive to be  limited to expletives.  In fact, its more fun when you can out-word a muhfuh... Oh such FUN to talk over someone's head with words they dont know and cant repeat. lololol  

**Begin Sidenote:  I remember actually having all-out "score sessions" with my boy Kevin Curry in high school using nothing but S.A.T. words.  We would actually be playing tennis and ragging on each other using vocab we were studying for our exam... TOTAL GEEKS! Coincidentally, Kevin is in grad school at Harvard RIGHT NOW and I am well... you know where I am. lol **End Sidenote***

Any-t-hoo, I'm gonna stop cursing and for every violation I'm gonna drop a dollar in the CUSS CUP and make an extra offering in church with the money.  I figure that committing that money to the Lord will force me to take this initiative seriously. Wish me luck!

SG

The Genesis of Me and You



I started composing another post that touched on the subject of people within love triangles/squares (octagons… lol) and how the bitter 3rd/4th/5th… parties in said triangles behave when one of the principals moves on with another… It’s a long post and I promise to come back to it but today I felt like going in a different direction.

See… this is what I’m thinking...
As a matter of fact, this is what my Grandmama taught me years ago, back when I was in the only serious relationship that I’ve had… (Poor me?! No poor you! I’m happy being selective, thank you very much!) Anyhoo… she taught me that the way a relationship starts sets the tone for the way that it will forever be. Sounds pretty vague you say, but really think about it.

Grandmama was saying that the exact standards that you go into a relationship with are exactly what set the tone for the duration of the relationship. Of course, I know she was specifically warning me against being “fast” and cautioning me to set standards for myself and basically, not to just go for any old thing… that once you let it be known that “this” is the standard or whats acceptable, that that’s EXACTLY what you can grow to expect from the other person. You know how it is… in the beginning each person is feeling the other out, trying to gauge exactly what “time it is”.

Its kinda like the dynamic of meeting the person in the club Saturday night and taking him/her home with you to go balls-to-the-wall (no pun intended). If you start the relationship off with 3am phone calls that lead to rugburns and 7-11 Magnum-runs, then pretty much expect that that’s going to be the basis of the relationship. Sure, it COULD grow into something more but the stage has already been set for more rugburns and 7-11 Magnum-runs, so for you to try and omit the sexual nature of the relationship or back up and say “No, Tony I want to wait until I know you better” is gonna get you a foreal “WTF” face from Tony, and rightfully so.

All this being said, its crucial to make sure that we each identify the dynamics of our relationships and the standards that we set forth in the beginning. If you want to be respected, don’t go into the relationship allowing disrespect and making excuses for the other person’s disrespectful, selfish behavior. If you want to cultivate a long-term relationship, begin with cultivating a foundation based on honesty, communication and dependability- the things you will value most with a mate. Don’t start out keeping secrets and being deceptive because lies only beget lies and distrust. Is any of this seeping through??

In short (or long), I guess I’m just saying that Grandmama taught me a lot about standards and being 100% honest with myself (and others) about my intentions within relationships. I can actually think of one time when I let my guard down and behaved in a way that not only contradicted my beliefs, but totally misrepresented my standards and set the wrong tone for a dynamic that I wasn’t ready for. The killing part is that it involved someone who, under different circumstances, would’ve been a guy that I would want to make happy… for a long time. I think we both identified “a winner” in each other, but it was just awkward at that point. Had we started in a different zone where things were more gradual, then well… you get where I’m going with this. Indeed a sad situation, but sometimes you gotta lose one to get one. Just don’t lose 2 because there may not be a 2nd time to learn the lesson.

So anyway peoples, be true to yourself. Take heart your own rules of engagement… never settle for something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Know what you want and how you want to be treated. Respect others. Be honest. Be virtuous.

XOXO
SG

BTW: Today's playlist consists of "Seasons Change" by Expose and "I Miss You" by Men At Large. Download them today!

Monday, September 29, 2008

A PSA from GOODEness..."One Minute"

Went to my friend's funeral, hoping in peace he now rested...
Growing from a seed to a tree, had worse climate than the rest did...
From age 9, this water sign was abused and molested...
Had hard times but "Jesus walks" is what he'd say like K. West did...
Gave his heart, spirit, mind and his body unprotected…
The catch was this man had 2 lives, showed both sexes affection...
He was on the down low and wasn't fond of protection...
Until he came across this sweetheart, orange moon, bright reflection...
She turned him on to good health and sharing the gift he was blessed with...
Don't ask, don't tell she gave him everything he requested...
Months pass, he's crossing paths, returning to her w/ infection...
She gets a physical and blood test, and then what? Yeah you guessed it!
Honey has full blown AIDS, to make it worse, 2 months pregnant...
She’s in the ground, not breathing now, and her children are neglected…
Meaningful life cut in its prime because she never asked questions!
Protect yourself and your partner’s health, life ends quick when you’re reckless!
Moral of the story, know your status and no latex no sex kid!
When you lay with one, you’re sexing all the people they've slept with…
The realest shit ever spoke…so respect it…get tested!!
© GOODENess 2008

With her blessing, I decided to repost this poem from a good blogbuddy of mine. She's a dope writer and definitely is saying something with this piece. Its rather sad that more of our people don't take better precautions with their health, but its definitely not a lost cause. Each one teach one. Lets help each other be stronger and better educated. Let's live.

Its So Cold (and Rhythmless) In the D - Reaction Vid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RcS1jlBpCA

CRay, I'm need you to get your peoples.
I'm just saying.

Sorry For the Delay of Game But I'M BACK!


Its been months since my last post here. Actually, I've started an entirely NEW blogspot that CRay and JBiggs and I are SUPPOSED to be tagteaming on, but their sorry tails havent posted there yet. *TSK TSK* That site is primarily for current events and since I'm feeling a bit more inclined to share (as Grandmama would say) "a tee-nanchy bit" of self-revelation. Got a minute? Its good, I promise!

So in my last post, I was sharing that I'd been laid-off from my position w/ Lockton and it really REALLY stung me on all fronts. Even still, I was not dismayed. There's even a line in there where I say something about remembering that everytime something seemingly bad happens, it always ends up being a setup for something "bigger and better". Well, true to form the Lord didnt let me down. For the sake of time, let me just say that I am now with an entirely different company in the financial industry with a GREAT position, a FABULOUS boss who adores me (as much as I adore her), and I'm getting the recognition and opportunities to develop my talents far beyond the opportunities I had with Lockton. All things considered, I am indeed blessed to have the favor that I do and I just had to share that because He deserves the glory (yet again) for bringing me through. The moral to the story? Setbacks are ALWAYS setups for something better. Trust and have faith in His order for your life.

In other news... I've gotten some downright INCREDIBLE collaborations going on with my music. Think classic, Grammy-winning producers that crafted hip-hop into what it is today... think a return to MUSIC... think HIT RECORDS! :-) It seems daily, I find myself slightly frustrated at trying to figure out HOW to meet all my deadlines and still balance my current obligations with work (b/c I enjoy it so much, I've been bringing it home with me the last few weeks) which in turn, cuts back on my studio time considerably... and then I'm in the gym 4 times a week at least so I mean... its a lot. But I'm commited to riding this dream 'til the wheels fall off (and they won't) because I've seen the other side and well... yeah, I have to do it. That being said, Sunday is my only "dont ask for nothing, i'm not doin' nothing" day. I was sharing this calamity with a new friend and he suggested that I focus my energies and not "chase 2 rabbits because I'll end up losing both." Even since he said that, I've been talking to the little bunnies in my life... literally telling them, "Alright Peter, I cant deal with you today because I'm focused on Bugs... I'll be with you shortly..." and so on. So far, so good! I think my problem is being an overachiever. I feel like I have to conquer the world... in a day... alone... blindfolded... with my arms tied behind my back. The cool thing is that in addition to pilates, I'm taking yoga now too and its really been a refreshing practice for me after work. WOOSAAAA.

I apologize for all this personal info but tomorrow I'll be back to business as usual... more posts about general topics. I've actually concluded that its in everyone's best interest if I not divulge any really personal details regarding current/former friendships/relationships on this blog. Its not needed and actually, quite 1990's if you ask me. Plus, no one cares who I am/am not "booing up" with anyway so screw it.

Before I leave tho, I have to say that I've had a JAMMIN' afternoon and even found myself doing the New Edition 2-step (HARD) while driving home today as listened to "If It Isn't Love". For those that havent seen the (timeless) video where they're sportin curls, skinny jeans and stirrup pants, click here. Do yourself a favor and download this if you don't already have it.

Thanks to everyone whose been checking on me and reminding me to start back posting.

XOXO...

SG