Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The THAT NICCA DONT WANT YOU List

First, I have to shout out my girl Brae for tellin me ab her encounter with T.N.D.W.Y. reality. Recently, I've had to share this mantra with one of my girlfriends. It went a lil something like this...
TNDWY if he is picking fights over petty shit.
TNDWY if he isn't investing substantial time, effort AND finances in furthering your relationship. What a man wants, he is willing to work for.
TNDWY if he has not taken you around his close friends and family.
TNDWY if he unashamedly flirts with other women in your face or openly admits (boasts) of his other "options".
TNDWY if yall r still "breaking up to make up" after 3 years of dating. He has already discovered and decided what he wants u to be in his life and if he's still takin u thru games, its probably not a wife.
TNDWY if the only thing you have to show for 2+ years of dating is some random ass momentos and dinner dates. Men trick off money on random things with little to no significance (multiple pr of airforce ones, impulsive trips, clubbin and drinking, clothing) and if he isn't breaking bread to do something to make YOU happy, then ur happiness is not a priority. I don't care HOW MUCH he makes even if its not much. A MAN THAT WANTS U WILL SACRIFICE TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU!
TNDWY if he isn't spending significant holidays/occasions with you. No one wants to be alone on major holidays so if he is picking a fight with u within 72 hours of one, he's just creating enough distance so u can leave him alone long enough that he can be with someone else without distraction.
TNDWY if he isn't willing to be there for you in your time of struggle and discomfort. Inherently, men are problem-solvers and should be our protectors and providers. Any man that shys away from the challenge of comforting you, isn't trying or WANTING to be your man.
TNDWY if yall are miles apart and he isn't either trying to get to you or get you to him. WHO THE EFF OVER THE AGE OF 25 WANTS A PENPAL?!?!?! If he were truly interested, he'd be creating ways to bask in your radiance. if he seems content with not seeing you for extended periods, then TRUST he is already seeing others.
TNDWY if he hasn't begun enquiring about the direction of the relationship or what your feelings for him are. If yall have been "talking" and dating for a period and the subject of "where this relationship is headed" hasn't been discussed, its because he is content with the vagueness and doesn't want to commit. By not addressing the issue, he can avoid having to verbally agree/commit to a position (yes I want to date u exclusively), because once he does commit to a decision, he knows expectations also follow. without a commitment he is free to do whatever, whenever. but a man that WANTS U will want to lock u down and confirm his intentions so that u don't move on without him.
TNDWY if you can only see him in public places like clubs/parties/bars OR if invitations to visit are accompanied with him tryin to create an intimate moment ESPECIALLY late nights after the clubbin. DANGER! DANGER! DO NOT VISIT A NICCA AFTER THE CLUB!! He will screw you at 3am and then take his main girl out to lunch and shopping at 3pm. TRUST.
TNDWY if his excuses for his lack of interest or time with you are always due to his work schedule. YOU CAN FIND TIME FOR WHAT YOU WANT TO MAKE TIME FOR. That applies to everyone and every situation. Even if it means sacrificing some sleep or cutting back on something else. But trust, for the right one he is and will FIND TIME to be with her.
I plan on adding to the list but this was so crucial to post that I composed this entire blog from my Mogul. If you enjoyed this or want to add something, leave a comment below.

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